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Happy New Year SMS

2009-01-11T02:16:00.000-08:00

2009 is at the door…
Remember
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
and
never regret anything that made you smile.

Little keys open big locks
Simple words reflect great thoughts
Your smile can cure heart blocks
So keep on smiling it rocks.
Happy New Year 2009

New hijri year. 1429 Mubarak
Allah talah aap ko
hazaroon khushiyan ataa karay
aur aap per rehmatain nazil fermaye.
ameen.

New rules of life for 2009
1. Haste Rehne ka.
2. Tension nai leneka.
3. B positive, eat positive, sleep positive
4. Mast rehneka.
5. Har problem ko solve kernay ka.
6. Friend k sath lifetime friendship account kholnay ka
7. Mujhko yaad rakhnay ka
Aur mujhey sms kertay rehnay ka.

MAY YOU HAVE

2007-11-19T23:31:00.000-08:00

* ENOUGH Happiness to Keep you Sweet

* ENOUGH Trails to Keep you Strong

* ENOUGH Sorrow to Keep you Human

* ENOUGH Hope to Keep you Happy

* ENOUGH Failure to Keep you Humble

* ENOUGH Success to Keep you Eager

* ENOUGH Friends to Give you Comfort

* ENOUGH Wealth to Meet your needs.

* ENOUGH Enthusiasm to Look Forward.

* ENOUGH Faith to Banish Depression

* ENOUGH Determination to Make each day better than yesterday.

I'am Totally confused is it Apple or Butterfly?

2007-11-19T23:30:00.000-08:00

Rani endorses Titan Raga

2007-11-19T23:29:00.001-08:00

Does anybody have the time? Rani Mukherjee will be the right person to ask. Rani has been signed up as the brand ambassador for Titan Raga, a watch brand which is designed and crafted exclusively for women.

Rani said that the Titan Raga watches are sensuous, beautiful and feminine just like today’s women and so she decided to endorse the brand. Titan Raga wants to reposition itself and who better to do it than Rani. Speaking at a press conference, Titan Industries COO, Harish Bhatt said Titan Raga commands a 68 per cent preference score among women aged between 25 and 40.

Titan has Aamir Khan as well who promotes its watches and John Abraham who endorses its line of sunglasses.

Break a Leg - Conversations - Ice Cream

2007-11-19T23:27:00.001-08:00

Difference between Man and Woman

2007-11-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are only 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage
Do u still wanna get married ?

Diagnostic computer

2007-11-19T23:23:00.000-08:00

One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.
"His friend said, " Don`t do that. There`s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00."

Jeff figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow.Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter.To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren`t yours. Get a lawyer. And...if you don`t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

How To Catch a Lion !! ??

2007-11-19T23:22:00.000-08:00

Ø Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Ø Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will
get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Ø Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Ø Indian Police Method:
catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that it’s a
lion.

Ø Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Ø Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while
it's sleeping !

System Error

2007-11-19T23:21:00.001-08:00

The key to heaven

2007-11-19T23:20:00.001-08:00

Three ladies died and met St. Peter who was sitting behind a desk on front of the gates of heaven, getting ready to start his day.

"May the first person come." He said.

"Hello, Saint Peter." said the first lady.

"State you name and tell me how you spent your life." he said.

"Oh Saint Peter, I am a nun, who spent her life helping those in need, and serving the Lord."

"Here is a golden key, it will open the Gates of Heaven."

And off the nun went.

"Next." said Saint Peter. "How did you spend your life."

"I spent my life like a normal human being." another woman said. "I told some lies, white lies here and there. But nothing serious."

"Here I give you a Silver Key. It is for the Purgatory. You may go now." he said. "Next. Tell me, how did you lived your life?"

"Oh Saint Peter, my life was spent on parties, with a different man every day. I loved a good dance, drinking, and having a different man every night. You might call me a creature of the night." said a beautiful Girl.

"Here is a key made of Copper." he said.

"Is that the key to Hell?!"

"No, this is the key, for my apartment."

Passionate Kisses

2007-11-19T23:19:00.000-08:00

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, Banta and his wife Preeto decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 10-15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counselor spoke to Banta, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

Banta scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Wednesdays and Saturdays."

Lallo Parsad YADAV and Bill Gates

2007-11-19T23:18:00.001-08:00

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:
dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks

Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."
Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

new sweet dish in the world pls see........

2007-11-17T00:36:00.000-08:00

wanted to give some sweets to you on the occasion
I searched a lot.
But I couldn’t find any better than this…

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